Lovely Bones

Posted by Liberty on Apr 26, '07 6:49 PM for everyone

I have been back from my South Asia trip almost two months now. I am not really sure what is going on but it seems a certain kind of melancholy has taken over me since then. It has a kind of grip on me that I can't seem to shake off my bones that easily.


I feel so much but I can't seem to put words to describe them.That trip has taken me to strange paths but felt familiarity to many of them when encountered. That paradox sent my senses spinning uncontrollably wild at times.


I find myself restless these days. The urge to put down into words what my mind conjures the reason for this is defeated by a sense of deep physical fatigue that accompanies this restlessness. My mind seems running at 500 miles per hour at times.  But I can't stay still to capture most of them.


This state of mind and body is the main reason I am not able to write these days. My mind is running so fast the tracks I have been passing seem like a blur. And at other days, I feel so stagnant and feel bound by some unseen captor.


But by the grace of God, I have found a rest stop ahead. I am not there yet, but I can see it from where I am again. I have given myself permission to finally say, it is okay not to do all the usual things I do that keep me busy and feel useful all the time. That sometimes it is alright to do nothing. Sleep most of the day if I have to.


I am back to prayers. I am doing yoga again. I am back at the gym at least two or three times a week. I am having lunches with friends again. Spent a full week taking care of a friend recuperating from surgery. My wardrobe ready for spring.

It seems I just needed some down time. And I resisted it instead of surrendering to it. Not anymore. Yes, I am taking care of my tender bones these days. Lovely bones of mine.